Emails | Page 5 | Points in Case

Tag: Emails

Get Out of Bed: In this first phase, caution is the name of the game. I can't take any risks that could lead to a second wave of weekend lethargy.

Subject: History WILL NOT be kind to the man who ignored breakfast pizza. Not gonna lie, Rob. Reallllly feel like you’re blowing it here.

If anyone’s screen-sharing with a cop, it won’t be long until you’re keeping six feet away from the living. Screen-sharers are dead to me.

Re: Re: Re: Super Fun Quarantine Recipe Exchange Re: This will not work if everyone does not fwd this email to their closest 10 friends RIGHT NOW

I am unable to respond at this time, as I'm walking around the house looking for construction opportunities.

Hi, acquaintance from college! Last time I heard from you was in a gun control debate on my Facebook page!

Phone ringer volume must be all the way down, so no one is distracted by a late call from Justin H. Each of us must be into our third Moscow Mule.

“You have the right to remain sexy, no matter how indeterminately older you are than your circle of close friends.” It’s just a number, people!

Or the time that he got the whole school to chant "Mr. O’Brien is a virgin" when I was doing announcements during the assembly?

We have been keeping your loan “sheltered in place” so that it grows at its 12% compounded rate.

In these unprecedented times, / In these, let’s be real, horrifying times, / In these gay Oklahoman tiger overlord TV star times,

You’re that fired up about Gabe’s oatmeal raisin cookies in the break room? You’re not fooling anybody that you “dream about those bad boys!”