I Refuse to Be the Only One Responsible for Mom’s Birthday Present
I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.
Tag: Emails
Hostage Emails From My Brother’s Kidnappers
I want to complement the kidnappers’ willingness to take down all of Larry’s dictation. That’s very considerate for kidnappers. He’s lucky.
At Cookr, We Want You Back!
(March 5, 10 PM) Our analytics tell us you visited our website recently, but you still haven’t re-subscribed to COOKR. Why not?!
Unnerving Emails Norton AntiVirus Sends Me
Data leak alert: Your fitting room selfies were just shared with your high school reunion Facebook group.
“Excuse Me, Can Any Fellow Emails in This Spam Folder Direct Me to the Inbox, Please?”
“Am I in the spam folder? I gotta get out of here.” “WARNING: YOUR HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA.”
Leaked Emails of a Hollywood Executive Desperately Pitching a Coen Brothers Cinematic Universe
How about this: It’s 2000 in LA, and Walter Sobchak & The Dude are bowling, when who should walk in, but none other than Marge Gunderson!
What Your NCAA Bracket Champion Says About You
Cincinnati Bearcats: You’ve watched a tournament game in a strip club. Iowa Hawkeyes: You lost money investing in Matthew Whittaker’s toilet company.
You have unsubscribed from this email list, but [please open to read full email]
Inside the envelope, you will find a series of riddles that you must answer in the languages in which they are provided. Spelling counts.
Reading About Someone Else’s Theme Park Experience Gets Me So Excited
Once I’m on to videos I know there’s no going back and I’m going to hate myself for the rest of the afternoon.
Did You Forget Your Password, You Stupid Bitch?
Security question: What is your maternal grandmother’s first name? We know you paused to remember which side maternal is, you unlearned horse’s ass.
Bill: You Have 13 Unread Emails from Change.org, Answer Them Right Now
(12/16/18 --- 10:46 AM) Bill-- 6-year-old Johnny Casin has some serious dirt on your ex-wife, Brittany.
My Wife Has Put Her Foot Down: No More Sexting the Bride of Frankenstein
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.