Major Strasser of the Third Reich Trashes Rick’s Cafe on Yelp
My men and I were subjected to the cruelest act of bullying the world has ever seen, simply because we were singing songs of the Fatherland.
Tag: Europe
New Tracks Dropped By Kremlin-Approved Rappers
Get hype for "Damn It Feels Good To Be A State-Sponsored Social Media Influencer," "Obey Tha Police," and "Putin Said Knock You Out."
Bob Mueller Can’t Tell Anybody He Completed “Twisted Metal 2” in Record Time
I really can't tell anybody this part but I doubt I will ever feel a pride as strong as when I watched Minion explode in front of Mr. Grimm's bike.
How Can We Be Expected to Fear the Grinch If He’s Never Even Taken a Man’s Life: An Editor’s Note to Dr. Seuss
Nobody just carves a roast beast like that. Not without training. This guy has combat skills. Probably ex-marine gone rogue. Let’s see him in action.
Wines That Pair Well With Your Terrible Life
Gewurztraminer and Running Over A Deer: It’s fruity, aromatic, and perfect for nervously sipping on the side of the road.
Love in the Time of Cutlery
“Hey gorgeous,” knife said to fork. That trim bastard put the cut in cutlery. “Weird night,” said knife. “I buttered some bread, and that was it."
Man in 1888 Photo With a Metallica T-Shirt and Cell Phone is Not a Time Traveler
I mean what kind of shitty time traveler would quantum leap wearing a “Wherever I May Roam” T-shirt from the most kick-ass thrash metal concert ever?
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
How the Hell Did the Hot Guy Lose?
The people of Texas have disappointed millions of people who wanted their fates sealed by a hot guy for once.
The Five Stages of Grief for an Unanswered Tinder Message
Depression: Did I go too far by putting a puppy on my lap as I hold a guitar? Sure, I don’t know how to play guitar, but she doesn’t know that.
Me, Frankenstein Monster, Am Victim of Angry Mob and Me Blame George Soros
Fake News say it bad thing that me want Bavaria to be good neighbor of Transylvania. Say Dracula sadistic bloodsucking despot.
Leaving Neil Armstrong’s Homemade Banner Out of “First Man” Ignores That the Moon Landing was a Completely Individual Achievement
When finally he stepped out onto the moon, he spoke those iconic first words: "Look what I did.... all by myself… with no one's help."