How to Tell If Your Undercut is All Right or Alt-Right
Does your new haircut scream stylish or white power? Use this guide to see where you fall on the spectrum from well-meaning hipster to Richard Spencer.
Tag: Europe
How to Not Be Okay with Your Body at a German Spa
People are staring at each other, unblinkingly, completely nude. No turning away politely, just unabashedly staring. Why are we doing this? Why on earth are we here?
I Don’t Have Ties to Russia, Russia Has Ties to Me
How can I have ties to Russia? The best people, all the people, really, but mostly the best, have said I don’t. And they're working for me now.
How the Vikings Squandered America
Thor, Thorvald, Thorrson, Thorfinn and crew had the New World in their grasp, save for one crucial mistake.
The 9 Worst German Beers, Tested
Germany has some of the best damn beers in the world. And unfortunately I'm not drinking any of them, because I can't afford too.
The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
An Insider’s Guide to Paris, From a Guy Who Just Spent a Long Weekend There
After my 3-day, 2-night stay in "The City By the Lights," I've compiled the ultimate Insider's Guide that will have you cheering "oui oui!" just like a local!
Horny Bulgarian Women Looking to Fuck Near You!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
German is a Lazy Language
I get that a lot of languages sound silly when translated literally, but German really takes the cake. Here are ten hilariously adorable German words into English.
Hey Now, You’re an All Star, Get Your Helmet On, Go Fight
Hey, now, that's the call now, get your mask on, it's gas. Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast. It's just chlorine and bleach.
The Clusterfuck Saga, Part 3: How I Broke My Leg So Bad I Got Stuck in a German Hospital
Just like my last surgery, this one was scheduled to run between 60 and 90 minutes, but wound up clocking in at just under 300.