Failed Tech Startups Founded by Luddites
BrickUp developed bricks large enough to destroy data centers, but small enough to conceal from evil clones of Regis Philbin.
Tag: Extreme
This Street Gang Is Committed to Transparency
Q: Do members have to kill to show how committed they are? A: Our initiation ritual is to show everyone in the gang your Internet search history.
Meeting Minutes from the Latest Conspiracy Theorists Group Gathering
18:04: Minutes are not approved as [REDACTED] has challenged the accounting and believes that someone has edited the minutes
Wearing My Canada Goose Jacket Is No Longer Compatible with My Moral Code, Unless It Gets Really, Really Cold
It is shameful, unless there’s some type of giant blizzard and it gets really chilly outside for a few days.
Simple Lines to Drop for Getting Out of Babysitting Your Friends’ New Baby
Have you seen that Dateline episode about the swimming babies? / Anyone can breastfeed, right? / He'll fit right in my backpack!
Here’s What That Really Cool Puddle of Water in the Middle of the Street Says About Your Gullibility
Most People Are Able to Successfully Trick You Into Doing Something Stupid: Notice how the water in this puddle ripples when you blow on it.
Tomato Season Has Changed Me
This happens every year. The heat of August sets in and like a bear waking from hibernation, my ravenous appetite for tomatoes reemerges.
Edible Arrangements for the Vengeful
A black-magic-hexed Incredible Edible Chocolate Spectacular arrangement. Perfect for anyone with whom you have an unfinished score to settle.
Antifa Job Postings, According to Republicans
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?
The Kill Me Now Squad: Declassified Files
Kyle’s father just asked if “Post Malone is a sequel to Bugsy.” Agents remain locked and loaded as they stand by for further instruction.
A Message from a Company You Are Somehow Still Receiving Emails from Regarding COVID-19
We are adjusting our policy of requiring sick employees to come into work so we can laugh at them for being frail and weak.
A Letter of Appreciation for “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers
People will call you a monster, and in a way, they’ll be correct: you are a monster---a monster fucking hit.