How to Properly Care for Your Newly Adopted Introvert
Bring your Introvert upwards of 50 books per week, as It will devour them. Often, this species builds small huts or thrones with these books.
Tag: Extreme
I’m a Serial Killer and Burberry Just Discontinued My Signature Strangling Scarf
With so many murders happening each year, it’s extremely difficult to develop and sustain a calling card that’s distinct.
The Management of the Lakeview Plaza 8-Plex Requests Your Feedback (And Apologizes in Advance for the Toenails)
On a scale of 1 to 10, what the hell are these spots on our seats? Cigarette burns? The management just had these seats reupholstered!
Famed Explorer Loses Entire Crew at IKEA
Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.
I Got into CrossFit but I Already Told Everyone I Know—Should I Quit?
The confirmation page for my gym hadn’t even loaded before I put out a group text to my closest friends telling them that I was a CrossFit guy now.
From the Spider on Your Dashboard, with Love
At first, I was frightened of you, unsure of your intentions, and your driving style did nothing to calm me.
How to Use the Internet, For Boomers
The internet is one big lie. If you think someone’s telling the truth online, then you’re lying to yourself.
I Prefer Cold Weather to Hot Weather Because You Can Always Put on More Layers and Still Get Frostbite and Die
God, I adore those deadly Arctic air jet streams like they’re a Jacuzzi jet femme fatale delivering ice to my shivering body. The tingle!
Impostor Syndrome at the Space Olympics
You are supposed to be here no matter what the Space Squids wrote on your locker in 4-dimensional ink that you had to get a Helper-Droid to translate.
Help! YouTube’s Algorithm Is Radicalizing My Son into Becoming a Magician
Any path, regardless of magic type, has one result?---social isolation and perverse obsession with colorful vests.
Liquids That I, Malcolm Gladwell, Will Not Drink
Remove gravy from its place as the creamy binder of the American Thanksgiving and you have nothing more than a gelatinous meat gloop. Pass.
Welcome to Hell – A Brand Book
Now you’re suspended on a wall of shard glass as rabid monkeys devour your intestines and Dave Matthews’ 2002 album “Busted Stuff” blasts on repeat.