The Alex Trebek Jeopardy! Icebreakers That Were Never Aired
Fatima, I've got your college transcripts here. Russian Lit major, Proverbial Folktales minor, now a freelance assistant. So, was Oberlin worth it?
Tag: Extreme
It’s Me, the Female Protagonist in a Television Melodrama, and No, I Don’t Think My Estranged Father is Here to Con Me
I arrived home to my apartment, fresh groceries in hand (despite the fact that I am never seen cooking, talking about food, or eating).
Just Spitballing Here, But Maybe I, a Billionaire, Should Run for President
Rest assured, I have heard the cries from the people, and I’d like to consider myself extremely in tune with what they want: more centrism.
Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Our Controversially Heavy Weighted Blankets
"I dropped my Heavy Sleeper XXL Weighted Blanket on my foot & broke several bones." How wonderfully whimsical! We are not responsible for any damage.
11 Questions You Should Never Ask on a First Date at a Haunted Murder Restaurant
If you're at a loss for words upon finding the body of your waiter, Miguel, hanging from a meat hook, try to avoid asking obvious questions.
A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”
How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem
Helen, Please call me Kenn. I spoke to my wife about the "situation." I feel like the least I can do is let you know what happened.
Our New TaskBezos Offerings
Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.
Stop Giving TV Shows Confusing Names and Use My Much Better Ones Instead
"West World" This title could not be more vague. West? World? You’ve lost me. Improved Title: "Beep Boop Yeehaw"
Dear RIAA, Please Require a “Step-Parental Advisory” Sticker on All Late 90’s Nu Metal Albums
I am fairly certain my stepson is going to murder me. These albums have turned what's left of His heart as frosted as the tips of His hair.
A Funeral Director’s Guide on How Best to Die
When you die, it won’t likely be a bunch of vultures or a serial killer who see you last. It will be me, your friendly neighborhood mortician.
The Trump Administration’s Official Recommendations for Hanukkah Parties
“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.