A Sexy Sci-Fi Show For Teens Which You Will Watch Anyway
Multicolored flames shoot from the crumbling gold tower, as he drips glazz on his eyeball and lights it on fire (this is how you do glazz).
Tag: Extreme
I Will Not Be Issuing a Refund For My Unorthodox “Next Stop: Team Town” Workshop
It is true: I stabbed every balloon on the showroom floor and likened it to Steve stabbing me in the back when he left me for the dweebs at DreamTeamz LLC.
Furniture King Supports Your Boycott
I aim to run this Kingdom in a way that would have pleased Thomas Aquinas, right down to the tonsured haircut that I require all staff to adopt.
I’m a Die-Hard Conservative, But If You Build a Border Wall, Our Texas Town Will Be Massacred By Wolves
Everyone knows I’m a patriot, but being eaten by a pack of mega-wolves with no natural predators ain’t exactly dying for your country.
DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing
A great place to stay on those days when you're in a bad mood and just "wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet."
Transcript of Donald Trump’s Interview with Sean Hannity
Let's get right into the meat of it: immigration. We're going to stop saying "carne" in this country, aren't we, Mr. President?
Welcome to Amtrak’s “Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club”
The first rule of Amtrak's "Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club" is: Kindly shut the fuck up about everything. Enjoy bare-knuckle chef combat.
Seasonal Wedding Themes That Scream “I AM UNIQUE!”
Spring weddings are the worst. So do as I did, and have another Winter theme: "Snuggled Up By the Fireplace While People Outside Freeze to Death."
Weapons of Mass Instruction for Everyone in Every School
Who's in favor of ending "gun-free zones" and replacing them with "free gun zones"? The answer to every question in America is "more."
Focus On Your Breath, Inhale Deeply, Now Exhale Slowly—Congratulations, You’ve Entered Manual Breathing Mode
Now that you're thinking about your breath every second of every day, your entire life from here on out is just one long yoga class. Congrats!
Four Miraculous Tales of Survival by Young Children in Peril
Relying solely on their wits and instincts, these brave kids overcame incredible odds to survive life-threatening situations.
Was Being Transported to King Arthur’s Court and Charged With Saving Camelot Really the Best Way to Learn Self-Confidence or Whatever?
Couldn't you just sit me down and teach me whatever lesson it is you're going for like a normal wizard mentor? Without the near-fatal experiences?