The Refrigerator in Your Parents’ Garage Would like to Explore Death with Dignity
I matched the microwave, we were like cute twins. During dinner parties, people would say, "Wow, love the matching appliance set."
Tag: Food
I Waited in Line for 11 Years and That Cronut Just Wasn’t Worth It
I walked on and on, finally reaching the end of the line alongside Route 276 just outside King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.
Please Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee, My Anti-Depressants, My Cholesterol Medication, a Shot of Whiskey, a Breath Mint, and a Pound of Bacon
How is it that my morning routine is simultaneously killing me while also helping me barely cling to dear life?
To Thank You for Being My Gladiators, I’m Providing Cupcakes
It will be a chance to network over a sweet treat with other gladiators who, in a few days, will try to clobber the life out of you.
My Client Would Never Rob a “Noodles & Company”
Is it even a crime to steal pasta? Oh right, it is.
Confession: I Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar
The crumbs in my bed sheets, the chocolate smear on my PJs—I don’t know, maybe I wanted to get caught.
Frequently Asked Questions About Our New AI-Powered Spaghetti
SpaghettAI involves unfathomable computing power, a series of data centers in Tuscany, and a gargantuan tub of tomato sauce in the metaverse.
Recipes for People Who Don’t Cook, but Have No Choice This Weekend Because Their Partner Is Out of Town
Directions: Forgo the kitchen scissors and rip the Hershey’s bag open in the worst way possible.
Select Excerpts from a Novel Written by an Author Who Doesn’t Know How to Cook
“One final touch, my dear boy,” his Grandma said, carefully placing an entire stick of butter on top of the dish.
This Pasta Recipe Features Just 3 Ingredients and an Exasperating Fixation on Authenticity!
Find a wedge that’s been subjected to a sniff inspection by the Sotterraneo Talpa Cieca di Dicenzo (The Underground Blind Mole People of Dicenzo).
I Am Tired of the Entertainment Industry Being Populated Exclusively by Beppo Babies (People Who Grew up Eating at the Italian Chain Restaurant Buca Di Beppo)
Some people don't seem to understand how being a Beppo baby is such a big advantage in the industry.
Key Takeaways from the Burger Slut Annual Marketing Review
While threats from Panini Whore and other provocatively-named franchises in the region are growing, the Burger Slut position remains strong.