The 5 Best Chobani Yogurt Flavors That Helped Me Beat Up My Step-Dad
I thought the mixed berry would pair well with the mix of emotions I had been feeling since my mom married her long-time boyfriend, Alfonso Matrioni.
Tag: Food
Proudly Presenting “Phoenix-Style Pizza”
And… it has a different shape, from other cities’ pizzas! New York and Chicago are round, Detroit is square, and Phoenix is… star-shaped!
Barbecue So Good You’ll Shit Your Pants in a Way That Gives You a Fetish?
No one leaves this barbecue place walking straight on account of the barbecue fucks so hard. Yeah, that's good.
So You’re Telling Me a Shrimp Fried This Rice, Stole Your Credit Card, Then Spent a Thousand Dollars at a Strip Club?
So first you met a crustacean down at the beach and the two of you “really hit it off.” Let’s unpack that a bit.
Playful Cheeseburger Sliders, Motherly Advice, and a Sincere Apology
Glen Lentil goes patty wild, our horoscope writer just wants what's best for you, and a pool manager owns up to an honest mistake.
It’s Homemade Pizza Night So Forget Everything You Know
You’ll know that our vegetables are straight from the earth because they will be covered in dirt, sand, and little white stickers with barcodes.
Salad Green or Merciless Historical Figure?
Arugula? Tatsoi? Mihirakula? Tamerlane? Everything on this list is ready to haunt you.
Let’s Get Real: There Are Only Five Fruits
This is going to ruffle a lot of feathers, but when an orange is small, it’s still an orange. I’m talking to you, clementines and mandarins.
A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Cheap Summer Vacations, Blueberry Pancakes, and MLB Courtesy
Scott Scranton explains how to vacay cheaper this summer—without sacrificing fun. Plus, Glen Lentil's blueberry pancakes from the heart.
I Am Your Coworker Who Microwaves Fish, and I Cannot Wait to Come Back to the Office
What is the point of having a job, really, if I can’t subject everyone I work with to deal with the afternoon odors of the nasty lunches I eat?
McDonald’s Menu Items Ranked by How Effective They Were at Giving Me the Nutrients I Needed to Break into Ronald McDonald’s Mansion and Try On His Clothes
A 30-Inch Footprint That I Touched and Then Tasted So I Could Begin Tracking Ronald: Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to murmur, “He’s near…”