Cheap Summer Vacations, Blueberry Pancakes, and MLB Courtesy
Scott Scranton explains how to vacay cheaper this summer—without sacrificing fun. Plus, Glen Lentil's blueberry pancakes from the heart.
Tag: Food
I Am Your Coworker Who Microwaves Fish, and I Cannot Wait to Come Back to the Office
What is the point of having a job, really, if I can’t subject everyone I work with to deal with the afternoon odors of the nasty lunches I eat?
McDonald’s Menu Items Ranked by How Effective They Were at Giving Me the Nutrients I Needed to Break into Ronald McDonald’s Mansion and Try On His Clothes
A 30-Inch Footprint That I Touched and Then Tasted So I Could Begin Tracking Ronald: Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to murmur, “He’s near…”
A Series of Communiques from Your Former and Forever Meal Delivery Service
For free shipping on those meals, send a follow-up text with promo code: YESYOUCANTRACKMYPHONE.
Dangerous Pasta Salad and Safe Stock Tips
Glen Lentil's bold summer pasta recipe, Scott Scranton's safest buy/sell stock picks, and blowout deals at Morty's Asbestos Emporium.
Fun Summer Activities for Kids (Brought to You by the Society for a Flat Earth)
Ask whether they want to eat off of a flat plate or an upside-down bowl. Your child will soon realize that flat surfaces are the only way to go!
A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out Of
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
Visions I Had After Succumbing to the Madness That Befalls All Men Who Dare Drink the Milk of the Eldest Keebler Elf
If you are offered a chance to suckle at the teat of the eldest Keebler elf, I pray you heed my warning.
Did You Fall in Love at First Sight or In a Kiddie Pool Full of KFC Gravy?
- You felt a warm and spicy thick wave crash over you. - Everyone else at the KFC Summer Family Fun Fest faded away.
It’s Time to End Unemployment Benefits and Put In an Honest Day’s Work at the Rainforest Cafe
Think of all the times you said, "I wish I could provide for my family by working somewhere that played realistic thunderstorm sound effects every 17 minutes."
Dispatches from a Pigeon Trapped in a Grocery Store
9:15 AM – Bad news. No Bread. When I try to talk to Barry, manager Kyle swat at me and call me mean names like “noisy ass pidgeon.”
Ideas for Sides at Restaurants That Are More Satisfying Than Bags of Chips
A Phone Charger: “Nourish thine phone and ye shall nourish thine soul.” Neitzsche said that.