Food | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: Food

We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.

Your own teeth, pulsed a few times in the Cuisinart. / Tiny blue gravel from the fish tank you haven’t cleaned out since your guppy, Lucy, died.

Q. Can I safely bring an unpeeled potato into a sporting event? A. Security will likely be using metal & potato detectors. It will be confiscated.

I just sit in the kitchen cupboard waiting until the next time you show up unexpectedly after months of neglect with your puffy eyes and runny nose.

There is a half-eaten sub sandwich on the ground. It looks like it has been there for some time. / You're here because you wanted to go "green."

Oh. This is chicken marsala? I thought Chelsea said “chicken, more salsa!” That’s fine. Shouldn’t be too different.

I had hoped the craze would die out before needing to call an emergency meeting at the alternative milk headquarters, the Portland Trader Joe's.

June 7th, 2020: Enriched flour, Sourdough starter, Yeast, Loaf of Sara Lee in case July 4th, 2020: Watermelon, American flag to burn, Hot dogs

That’s when I see this sandwich, all multi-layered and cut in half with these giant toothpicks holding everything together.

The thank-you note was from Whiskers, Sam Meowliot, and Purrt Russell. They also showed their gratitude by leaving some fur in the cookies.

When I hear this song, I remember how Krakenfuss kept her grocery store open on Christmas Eve. She was the richest person in town and the meanest.

I do not plan on blowing away before the next Thanksgiving. I am not merely a summer fling or a one-night affair.