Oh, and instead of those dozens of legs you’re used to, you’ll have six legs and there’ll be basically tongues on the end of each of them.
Strawberry Mayonnaise Daiquiris: Sounds terrible, right? The first few are, but I’m on my third one now and I can’t even taste them anymore.
Ingredients: 1 billionaire, appropriately beaten; Kosher salt; Fresh herbs / Serves: 99% of the population, when divided equally.
When you blend spinach into a smoothie, you become better. Better than others, better than yourself, better than God. You can see sound, hear color.
Subject: History WILL NOT be kind to the man who ignored breakfast pizza. Not gonna lie, Rob. Reallllly feel like you’re blowing it here.
1) I Make a Rube Goldberg-type Machine That Gives Sonny a Spank Right on the Keister Every Time He Lifts the Spoon to His Mouth
Which of the following pieces of equipment can be carried off-duty by employees and even concealed? A) Avocado Masher B) SIG Sauer P320 Pistol
Remove your hot tart halves from the toaster. Do not use oven mitts or hand coverings. The tarts will be exceptionally brittle.
My operating system may look like it could run on a Fisher-Price, but don't be fooled by the over-sized print or intuitive icons. I am a UX terror.
And your chicken nuggets are shaped like Shrek. How old are these things? They haven’t promoted a Shrek movie since 2010.
Homemade cookies are easier than you realize, and so is purchasing my grandmother’s farm. We don’t even need to go through any lawyers or anything.
At each Morpheats location, you're welcomed into a cyberpunk dystopia by a pleather-clad “Matrix d’” who takes you to your virtual table.