Are You a Werewolf, Or Did You Eat Too Much Cheese Last Night?
You manage to get upright. The movement unsettles something inside of you. You groan, but do not recognize the sound.
Tag: Food
I May Be a Worm and I May Be Tantalizing, But Trust Me, Trout, You Don’t Want to Eat Me
Haven’t you noticed your friends and family disappearing? It never once crossed your mind to file a missing fish report?
18 Very Legitimate Reasons I Didn’t Get a Salad
A salad? After Labor Day? I don’t think so. I passed the salad place and said to myself, “Not today. Today is Tuesday. Tacos.”
Please Enjoy Our Company Lunch of Not Pizza
I just thought it would be fun to spice things up this time—literally in the case of that ominously bubbling aluminum tray at the end of the row!
Even Cookie Monster Sick of Accepting All Cookies
That’s when Cookie Monster start to wonder, who real monster…
The Restaurant Website That Makes It Impossible to Find Its Menu
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
I Refuse to Consider Myself a Choking Victim
If you pat me on the back, I’d prefer to feel like it’s because I earned it.
Yes, I Put Pineapple on My Pizza, Sue Me
What business is it of yours if I put mango in my risotto? Hm?
Letter to the Elusive BrätBus™: Why Do You Hate Our Wonderful Midwestern City?
You’re telling us that our beloved home--a place where many Hagen-Hogan BrätBoy Brats™ have been happily consumed--isn’t worth your time?
For God’s Sake! Why Are You All Still Ordering Our Spiciest Wings That Have Put 27 in Comas?!
We are strongly discouraging any food vloggers, frat bros, or any self-proclaimed "spice fiends" from coming to Tony’s Tavern (off I-85, exit 17).
Ten Grapes I Ate Anyway
Grape that went under the refrigerator: I swear it bounced off my knee and shot directly under the fridge.
A Customer Service Representative Goes on a Date
That’s great, Sylvia. I’ll just make a note of that for my records. Do you mind if I change the subject while we wait for our server to arrive?