Food | Page 21 | Points in Case

Tag: Food

A Pair of Cantaloupes: Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s 2020, but come the fuck on cantaloupe.

Oreos: So your kids are begging for America's favorite cookie? Lucky for you it couldn't be easier. First, begin by grabbing your titanium dioxide.

So why is Potbelly keeping your hard-earned taxpayer money? Because you all will fucking forget the second you’re allowed outside, that’s why.

You could try to explain bronze die-cut milling and how it creates a unique texture for holding sauce better, but there’s no need. Susan left you.

Everyone, take a look at Paula. Notice the thousand-yard stare in her eyes as she chews? See how she’s chewing on just the one side of her mouth?

It's critical that our employees can think outside of the box, accept a payment that comes from inside a box, while also living in a box.

I won’t shame you, it’s not my place. No, my place is to be an evolutionary step above paper. My role is to technically be food.

We’re not real good at giving directions, so we suggest you stop by the quaint post office off Route 40 (or 14?), and ask for Hank.

Succulents, violets, bromeliads, fiddle leaf figs, and ferns all appreciate a heavy dousing of gravy.

Friday Morning, Week 5 / Yellow Bungalow / Trader Joe's beer bottles (10) / Vodka bottle (1 pint) / Cardboard Pop-Tart boxes, cinnamon frosted (1)

Human Remains – Whoops! You’ve been living your best life for a few months and completely forgot about your boyfriend Carson in the fridge.

I scrolled through Twitter and saw a few Forrest Gump references. Why? And then the storm hit: A text from my mom, “Tom Hanks has coronavirus.”