The Simple and Effective No Cookies or Wine Diet
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
Tag: Food
Do You Have the Cognitive Fortitude to Be a Cashier at Crazy Dave’s Wieners?
What is the correct spelling of the fermented cabbage that sometimes goes on hotdogs? Sauerkraut, Sourcrowt, Serrkreet, Soorkroot, or Kimchi?
An Appeal to the Committee’s Ruling That Candy Is Not a Breakfast Food
I was never properly notified of the existence (and have yet to receive a copy) of the complete list of the committee-approved breakfast foods.
Royalty-Free Podcasts So You Don’t Have to Hear Another Quip Ad
Celebrity Talking Over Celebrity: For those of you wondering, what’s that actor from that movie doing these days? Well… it’s this!
How a Work Trip to the Hallmark Christmas Universe Royally Fucked My Marriage
I apologize, she giggles and our shared weakness for Snickerdoodles suggests we will fall madly in love by Christmas. Her name is Lacey Sherbert.
Are These Family Gifts Third-Party Seller Garbage, or Legit Holiday Treasure?
Was the Fanny Fay Fruit Cake Great Grandma Wrapped Up and Brought to Dinner from a bakery trash can or Fanny Fay Old Folks Home’s Charity Bake Sale?
Why My Girlfriend Should Consider Buying Chocolate Advent Calendars Again
I promise no more pretending the calendar’s a ventriloquist dummy with Jersey accent when I have my fingers inside Santa’s slot.
Seven Mishaps at Whole Foods That, Looking Back, Were Only Partially My Fault
I didn’t mean to beat my chest and roar, causing that woman to jerk the wheel of her motorized cart into the end cap of pumpkin spice whipped topping.
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
It’s That Time of Year Again When My Seasonal Affective Disorder Kicks in and I Transform into Glargor the Cave Troll
Like Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk when he gets angry, I turn into Glargor whenever the concentration of Vitamin D in my blood dips below 15 ng/ml.
My Grandpa’s Cookie Recipe That Serves as Evidence He Was D.B. Cooper
Slowly add in the dry mixture until combined. The batter should be rough as the terrain near the Washougal River Basin in Washington state.
Translations of the Text Message “WYD”
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”