Seven Mishaps at Whole Foods That, Looking Back, Were Only Partially My Fault
I didn’t mean to beat my chest and roar, causing that woman to jerk the wheel of her motorized cart into the end cap of pumpkin spice whipped topping.
Tag: Food
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
It’s That Time of Year Again When My Seasonal Affective Disorder Kicks in and I Transform into Glargor the Cave Troll
Like Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk when he gets angry, I turn into Glargor whenever the concentration of Vitamin D in my blood dips below 15 ng/ml.
My Grandpa’s Cookie Recipe That Serves as Evidence He Was D.B. Cooper
Slowly add in the dry mixture until combined. The batter should be rough as the terrain near the Washougal River Basin in Washington state.
Translations of the Text Message “WYD”
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”
Let’s Boycott Thanksgiving! This Has Nothing to Do with Me Being a Turkey, By the Way
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
Good Housekeeping Tips for Throwing a Cozy, Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving Rager
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon-Ale with Thor
You can either let those lemons get you down, or you can absolutely crush the shit out of those lemons by channeling the inebriated fury of Thor.
The Children of the Corn Give Thanks for Corn Subsidies
Thanks to the Farm Bill's protections, we can look after our community without having to do the murderous bidding of He Who Walks Behind the Rows.
A Few Quick Announcements from the Flight Crew Here at Budjet, America’s Number One Most Affordable Airline
Your bags are important to you, but they're unpaying dead cargo to us and we are proud to be the only airline that has outlawed luggage on our fleet!
Design and Style Tips for the Eco-Apocalypse
Sexy post-apocalyptic film and TV were all the rage in the 2010s. Now that the eco-apocalypse is here, make all those fashion preparations pay off.
As CEO of Stouffer’s, I’ve Decided to Add 20x the Beef to Our Lasagna
We're always putting our customers' needs first. And they need more meat. So we’re shoving 20 times the beef into our lasagnas.