Secret Meanings of Knife and Fork
Knife and fork pointed emphatically at the waiter’s throat: A not so subtle way to show that you didn’t enjoy the service.
Tag: Food
I Will Not Apologize for Wearing My Sleep Apnea Mask to Our Third Date
Also, need I remind you, I didn’t try to lasso the waiter with it---I did lasso the waiter with it.
It Was Hot Girl Summer, Now It’s Early Pregnancy Fall!
Enjoy hiding your emerging pregnancy bump under cozy oversized sweaters and finding the best OBG/YN for your star sign.
Liquids That I, Malcolm Gladwell, Will Not Drink
Remove gravy from its place as the creamy binder of the American Thanksgiving and you have nothing more than a gelatinous meat gloop. Pass.
FDA-Approved Vape Flavors (For Adults Only!)
These FDA-Approved Fusion Flavors™? are guaranteed to provide a satisfying Juul experience that appeals exclusively to people over 40.
On Bread: A Deep History of a Common Food
Hundreds of generations of humans have been sustained on some sort of bread, the same food that I shovel into my mouth with abandon at Olive Garden.
Popular Instagram Life Coaches for Women
To learn how to kick that pesky eating habit, click the link in my profile to book a free info session today!
New York Times Restaurant Review: Big Terry’s Truck
The atmosphere of Big Terry’s truck was rustic Americana at its finest, from the American Flag seat covers to the Springsteen on the radio.
Emails from Jesus’s Micromanaging Boss, Phil
Just touching base with you on this month’s miracles. As you know, miracles are one of our key performance indicators this quarter.
Chef Boyardee’s Last Hurrah
I present to you The Chef Boyardee Fuckayous, a meal that speaks for many immigrants (like myself) who are being deported from the United States.
Qualities I Require in a Lunch Box for My Child
Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.
I’m a Boomer Mason Jar, and Millennial Mason Jars are Ruining the Country
These Mason jars today---all they do is hang around waiting for some kid to go on Pinterest and search “rustic chic wedding.”