Food | Page 28 | Points in Case

Tag: Food

Beach Dreams Unfulfilled Tropical Cherry – A fruity favorite to remind you that you’re too funemployed to escape or go to Hawaii this summer.

Look forward to a wide variety of items in your CSA box like kale, swiss chard, baby kale, frisee, dino kale, a bunch of spiky weeds, and red kale.

Age 6: Has pastel-colored hair to stand out in a crowd. Age 60: Spends $10 monthly to ensure ID theft protection and anonymity.

The Durian fruit is the record-holding “smelliest fruit in the world." Now you tell me, what records does the avocado hold? That’s right, none.

We used to have lights, but we found that they reminded people way too much of their cell phone screens, so we got rid of them.

Hawaiian Nachos are not your traditional nacho. If you ask for fresh guacamole, expect a bowl of homemade wintergreen toothpaste.

Jimmy Silverman (Jimmy’s Room): Was anybody in my room the other night? I heard strange noises coming from my closet and it smelled like bad eggs.

1:37 PM: Host will say that, “things should get cooking here in about 5 minutes!” This will be torture and will leave you craving a cheeseburger.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe leading an active lifestyle doesn’t make you inherently more driven & virtuous? Maybe it just makes you sweatier.

What can we make of the persons exiting the Sorbonne with something heralded as a "kale chia smoothie?" It appears to be dredged from a fetid pond.

"I essentially stuck to a low carbon monoxide, high carbon dioxide diet. It was definitely not always easy to be disciplined!"

I reached for my wallet and peeled back its innards in vain, knowing well and good I was, in fact, cashless.