Rimbaud’s 2019 Food and Drink Guide to Paris
What can we make of the persons exiting the Sorbonne with something heralded as a "kale chia smoothie?" It appears to be dredged from a fetid pond.
Tag: Food
Louisiana’s SHOCKING Weight Loss Secret? Climate Change!
"I essentially stuck to a low carbon monoxide, high carbon dioxide diet. It was definitely not always easy to be disciplined!"
Thank You for Your Grace in Accepting My Debit Card, Though My Purchase was Below the Card Minimum
I reached for my wallet and peeled back its innards in vain, knowing well and good I was, in fact, cashless.
Hi, It’s Me, the Other Mayor Running for President
Mayor Pete is a former Navy officer, a Harvard grad, and speaks 7 foreign languages. However, as the owner of a Ford dealership on State Route 15.
You Bet Your Ass This is the Most Patriotic Carrot Salad You’ve Ever Eaten
This salad only has three ingredients: carrots, mayonnaise, and American elbow grease.
Highlights of the First 10 Days of a Miraculous Marianne Williamson Presidency
President Williamson announces her first Executive Order to great fanfare, enforcing a mandatory 15 minutes of daily mindfulness for every American.
10 Under “This Many”: Meet the Toddlers Who are Crushing Cannes
Mabel has seen it all. She started in shapes, but quickly moved onto colors before being promoted to Creative Director within a year.
Illness-Related Feats I Accomplished at Work That Are Equivalent or Better Than Michael Jordan’s Flu Game
How about some credit for processing all invoices while my boss lectured me on "eating too many microwaved oyster and pastrami sandwiches at work"?
Yes, Chick-fil-A is Totally Evil—But on the Other Hand, Waffle Fries
Who could possibly resist the siren song of a factory-farmed chicken breast wedged between two nondescript slices of bread? Plus a pickle?!
Approved Amish Party Games
Amish teens form a circle and, when called upon, can choose either Truth or Dairy, two equally adored pastimes.
Welcome to Camp Sunshine! Please Read Our 2019 Camp Policies
Camp Sunshine opens its doors at 8:55 every morning. Please drive carefully because although we have 125 campers, we only have 11 legal parking spots.
An Open Letter to the “Pay It Forward” Person at the Drive-Thru
Being a happy-go-lightly, vacant soul, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t use that fistful of dollars to pay for the order of the guy behind me.