Hozier Songs That Made Me Cry in the Taco Bell Parking Lot
I forgot my Fire, but I found a packet of Mild sauce at the bottom of my purse. Is that enough? Will that get me to the place I need to reach?
I forgot my Fire, but I found a packet of Mild sauce at the bottom of my purse. Is that enough? Will that get me to the place I need to reach?
(March 5, 10 PM) Our analytics tell us you visited our website recently, but you still haven’t re-subscribed to COOKR. Why not?!
You name it, I’ve been through it. Casual flings. True love. Nits. Pink eye. And I’ve been a truthteller and a trendsetter through it all.
"I don’t have any fancy degrees. I’ve never read Murakami. I’ve never read anything, actually. I can’t speak English and I’ve bitten people."
We care about your wellbeing because we don’t need your fat ass jacking up our healthcare costs.
I thought space was going to be the most romantic time of our 10-month relationship. That’s why I got three new rompers and a bikini wax.
The crumbs on my face, the milk mustache, the hand entirely within the cookie jar—these are all circumstantial and prove nothing. NO COOKIE!
The meaning of life is being in a bathtub, no matter what the circumstances are. It’s joining a group to roll a beached whale back into the sea.
You wouldn’t take away my memories just because all of your memories of Mr. Bawk Bawk are of the CEO standing over your wife’s lifeless body?
Howard and I both know the importance of symbolic gestures---have you ever ordered oatmeal at Dunkin’ or Starbucks? No. But you COULD!
And you charged me for all of it?! That’s over $15,000! Listen, I’m not made of that Tony Stark money
Appetizer: Meat Yogurt -- What's the one thing moms love more than fruit? Duh, it's yogurt!