Food | Page 32 | Points in Case

Tag: Food

Yes, you have been up for twenty hours straight, but take this opportunity to focus on getting leaner and fitter.

We used to be doing all right financially, but we just blew our last 5 million dollars on a Superbowl ad during the most boring Superbowl in history.

Every morning, I wake up and eat a motivational quote for breakfast sprinkled with positive-flavored hemp seeds.

Life isn’t about enjoying things. It’s about adhering to specific body norms! On your deathbed you won’t be wishing you ate more bonbons.

You must place him ever so sweetly on a bed of cotton balls if you’re going to be transporting him to be booked for his many, many financial crimes.

Yet another advantage she has over me and my perpetually degrading corporeal being that needs stupid shit like food and water and exercise and love.

If you cannot make it home to your reinforced "Doom Room", attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area.

"Pinebrook Elementary Concert featuring Miss Doherty’s 3rd-grade choir singing a 2-hour rendition of The Pirates of Penzance" [THC: 34%]

If they mention it, pretend to be engrossed in Kyle’s story. If they ask you a direct question about it, feign a family emergency and run out.

Fetch this bar of chocolate that would serve two or three of my adoring subjects, but which I will eat entirely by mine own self, as is my right.

If you don’t keep the dead dogs in the freezer, Doctor Snuggles will devour all the dogs in one sitting. He's a huge pig. Aren’t you my little pig?

“You should smile more” – To remedy my resting bitch face, I am going to pull my lips apart with duct tape so that I will have a permanent smile.