The Lemon Water You Drank in an Attempt to Detox Needs Back-Up
Lemon Water (8:25 AM): This is lemon water do you copy?! We have reached the epicenter of your gut.
Tag: Food
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Instant Pot Recipes for Angering Everyone
"Learn The Job Beef Chili" -- I only make this dish when I’m trying to displease people on both sides.
The Body Isn’t a Wonderland: Some Suggestions to Improve Pregnancy
Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.
The Pros and Cons of Owning Different Pets
Small Fish | Pros: They are angular and elegant-looking. Do not require much upkeep or food expenses. Cons: You have had it 3 hours. It's dead.
A Few Quick Notes About Your Son’s “Tree #2” Role in His 6th Grade Play, From Me, The Lead’s Mother
Diane, your son is an expressionless stump on stage (no pun intended). I can’t stress this enough. He looks like a dead, lifeless boy.
This Forest Fire May Be Devastating, But It’s Our Chance to Cook a Huge Omelette
We could utilize the approaching inferno and cook acres of lip-smacking omelette and turn it into an egg-themed pleasure park!
Stop Giving TV Shows Confusing Names and Use My Much Better Ones Instead
"West World" This title could not be more vague. West? World? You’ve lost me. Improved Title: "Beep Boop Yeehaw"
“Eat, Pray, Love” Your Festivus
“If you could clear out all the space in your mind, you’d have a doorway.” Enter the airing of grievances!
Seasonal Treats to Destroy Your Enemies, From the Belvedere Family Cookbook
Peppermint Razor Bark (p. 194): The easiest and most economical recipe, this sweet is great for either a time-sensitive soirée or a mass sabotage.
Help! My Emotional Support Python is Killing Me!
Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…
I Am Urging You to Urge Others to Push for Climate Change Action
We just can’t continue on like this without telling everyone we know that we can’t continue on like this.
5 Reasons Why the Donner Party was Better Than Your Birthday Party
The Donner Party was a journey unlike any other in history. The best part is, they did the whole thing without fake crying or vlogging once.