Would people describe you as: A) a creative free-thinker with an "outside the box" mentality, B) a process-oriented manager focused on the big picture, or C) a cranberry farmer?
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
If I got eaten, nobody would be sour on me anymore. They’d use words like “valiant” to describe my life and valiant death.
The company manual has everything from an optimistic “Career Progression” to shrug-worthy “Credit Card, Corporate” but nothinganything under “Coffee Machine, Operating Safely.”
It takes 35 minutes to prepare but deconstructs the dinner party in mere seconds, allowing you to restore the cultural and economic sanctity of your home forever.
We’ve all been there, sitting on the toilet, ass bleeding, thinking, “Why me? What the hell did I do/eat to deserve this?”
After 30 great years, we’ve decided to scale back our breastaurant theme and make the transition to one of a more family-friendly restaurant.
Strap in for a brews cruise around the world, from that guy who drinks a lot and probably knows stuff. Probably. Ehh, either way.
In 2016, Susan Sarandon endorsed Jill Stein for President. Jill Stein is a member of the Green Party. You know what else is green? Arugula.
Next time you hesitate to eat that potentially tasty piece of somethin in your fridge, consider these tips to know if it's about to mutate into a living being.
The moment you mispronounced "Szechuan chicken," all of reality froze as if someone had hit the pause button on existence.
I’m an adventurous soul who is unafraid to eat things - terrible, weird things - in order to prove my affections for a potential suitor.