Don’t Blame Me, I’m Just the Manager at This Olive Garden
Alright, time for the evening server announcements here at Olive Garden. This is being passed down from corporate, so hey, don't shoot the messenger!
Tag: Food
The ONLY 6 Reasons to Not Tip Your Server
If you really have your heart set on stiffing the minimum wage workers who serve your fatty, deep-fried goodness, then here are some legitimate excuses.
No Kids, We’re Not Going to Round Table Pizza After the Game
The Padres have developed a bit of a reputation as the "loser squad," and I wish I could say it's not deserved, but you boys are absolutely pathetic at baseball.
Simple Recipes to Impress the Person You Wanna Bang: Puerco Pibil with Rice
Puerco pibil is Spanish for "pork whatever the hell pibil means," and it's basically a super slow-roasted pork, marinated in the best damned spicy sauce you'll ever taste.
7 “Natural Ingredients” You’ll Wish I Hadn’t Just Told You About
What if I told you that the "natural ingredients" you're eating on the regular include beaver butt glands, sand, human hair, and mashed up beetles? You'd throw up.
Five Alternatives to Microwaving Your Thanksgiving Turkey
Unfortunately, you can't microwave a turkey. It just won't fit! So here are your options for preparing the most important piece of your holiday puzzle.
The Server Manifesto
This is a foul-mouthed guide for you, the customer, when dining out, because most of us servers agree that the majority of you are assholes. Please heed these rules.
Stuff You Know About Cooking That’s Actually Bullshit
Sometimes I hear my friends expound on cooking tips they've heard somewhere before and I think, "Well, that's not right." Here are six common cooking myths.
Now I Know Why Strippers Don’t Eat Indian Food
It's hard enough to cook Indian food that tastes good, but to follow up a lousy meal with a gassy pole dancing class in front of real strippers just adds insult to injury.
Apartment Hunting in North Carolina
I’m moving in with the first man who ever kissed me. Three months ago my current roommate asked me to move out on account of he wants his girlfriend to move in.
How NOT to Order at a Sit-Down Restaurant
If you participate in one or more of the following 8 actions or behaviors, you are a monster, and you are cordially invited to eat fast food for the rest of your pathetic life.
Living With Glaucoma: What to Expect From Your First Marijuana Treatment
After consuming your marijuana or other THC-laced product, find a comfortable seat in your residence and prepare for a flood of serotonin.