Your 3-Step Recipe for Ruining Thanksgiving
Your job this year is to ruin Thanksgiving for everybody. Here are three simple steps to accomplish that: complain, criticize, and be aloof.
Tag: Food
RE: 12 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Bread
Thank you for submitting your piece, "12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread," to LaughSmack. What you have written is absolute filth.
6 Bizarre Things You Can Deep-Fry, But Probably Shouldn’t
Deep-frying and deep-fried foods are now a major part of our lives, for better or worse. But the stuff in this list will either make you salivate or cringe and vomit.
Simple Recipes to Impress the Person You Want to Bang: Amuse Bouche
Amuse bouche is a chef's specialty that's served before the actual meal in order to get the audience revved up for the gastronomic journey sure to follow.
Don’t Blame Me, I’m Just the Manager at This Olive Garden
Alright, time for the evening server announcements here at Olive Garden. This is being passed down from corporate, so hey, don't shoot the messenger!
The ONLY 6 Reasons to Not Tip Your Server
If you really have your heart set on stiffing the minimum wage workers who serve your fatty, deep-fried goodness, then here are some legitimate excuses.
No Kids, We’re Not Going to Round Table Pizza After the Game
The Padres have developed a bit of a reputation as the "loser squad," and I wish I could say it's not deserved, but you boys are absolutely pathetic at baseball.
Simple Recipes to Impress the Person You Wanna Bang: Puerco Pibil with Rice
Puerco pibil is Spanish for "pork whatever the hell pibil means," and it's basically a super slow-roasted pork, marinated in the best damned spicy sauce you'll ever taste.
7 “Natural Ingredients” You’ll Wish I Hadn’t Just Told You About
What if I told you that the "natural ingredients" you're eating on the regular include beaver butt glands, sand, human hair, and mashed up beetles? You'd throw up.
Five Alternatives to Microwaving Your Thanksgiving Turkey
Unfortunately, you can't microwave a turkey. It just won't fit! So here are your options for preparing the most important piece of your holiday puzzle.
The Server Manifesto
This is a foul-mouthed guide for you, the customer, when dining out, because most of us servers agree that the majority of you are assholes. Please heed these rules.
Stuff You Know About Cooking That’s Actually Bullshit
Sometimes I hear my friends expound on cooking tips they've heard somewhere before and I think, "Well, that's not right." Here are six common cooking myths.