Now I Know Why Strippers Don’t Eat Indian Food
It's hard enough to cook Indian food that tastes good, but to follow up a lousy meal with a gassy pole dancing class in front of real strippers just adds insult to injury.
Tag: Food
Apartment Hunting in North Carolina
I’m moving in with the first man who ever kissed me. Three months ago my current roommate asked me to move out on account of he wants his girlfriend to move in.
How NOT to Order at a Sit-Down Restaurant
If you participate in one or more of the following 8 actions or behaviors, you are a monster, and you are cordially invited to eat fast food for the rest of your pathetic life.
Living With Glaucoma: What to Expect From Your First Marijuana Treatment
After consuming your marijuana or other THC-laced product, find a comfortable seat in your residence and prepare for a flood of serotonin.
Low and Slow Occupy Chili
This morning I set out to reinvent the concept of chili. I went to the grocery store without a map, because recipes are for cowards, and cooking is an act of violent creation.
Three Shitty Products Masquerading as Food
When I think of food, I don't think of a rectangular chunk that looks like a gargoyle with a square asshole shit it out. Or a meal that looks like a bunch of scabs swimming in a puddle of whale semen.
Salads by Kevin
Dive into innovative and edible salads like The Kevin (lettuce show you how), or spend the night with Kevin Once Stayed at the Waldorf Salad (expensive).
The Twisty-Pop® Popcorn Maker Secrets to Great Popcorn
Your new Twisty-Pop® stove-top popcorn maker pops superior popcorn. Before you start popping, take a moment to try the leading microwaveable brand. Not going to do it, are you?
The Burger Kingdom is Your Destiny
Ready for the fast-paced exciting world of fast food? Burger king is looking for new talent! Fill out this application to get started right away!
Restaurants are People, Too
A realistic assessment of you, the asshole customer, from the perspective of the most under-appreciated people in a restaurant, the kitchen staff.
Half Cuban, 100% White
I'm a halfie: my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.
Why I Always Cook Dinner on Christmas
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.