Pretending You Listen to Your Friend’s Podcast
Your friend could have an annoying voice, or he only talks about his personal issues and you’d rather not listen to that during your hour commute.
Tag: Friends
A Recipe Blogger’s Text Responses to Incredibly Simple Questions
What time are we getting coffee later? The Arabian Peninsula has always been one of the harshest environments on Earth, and 800 A.D. was no exception.
Gentlemen, It’s Been an Honor Smelling Candles with You All in This HomeGoods Today
It goes without saying that when you've sniffed wax with as many husbands in home décor stores as I have, you tend to get jaded.
Announcing My Seasonal Transition to Fairweather Friend
Fairweather Friend Season commences with the onset of colder temperatures, and/or bird migration, and/or closed-toed shoes.
Your Promotion from Coworker to Friend Has Been Denied
We know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but unfortunately our pool was full of more qualified applicants or people we already know who lived closer.
Sorry, This Friend Group Already Has a Photographer
Your deal is Polaroids, right? That’s cute. I don’t mean that in a condescending way.
How to Still Be the Main Character of Your Friend Group Even Though One of Your Friends Got Hit by a Car
Now, is it sad? Of course. But the problem lies within people being concerned about her... more than they pay attention to you.
Coping with Your Acquaintance’s Divorce
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
The Room Where Everyone Talks About You Behind Your Back
Every Tuesday during that weird evening time slot where nobody you call picks up we’ve been coming here to air out our grievances away from you.
An Updated Pricing List for My Emotional Labor
Stranger Tier: The stranger package has been updated to eliminate basic greetings and small talk.
The Enemy of My Enemy
The enemy of my massage therapist, Janet, is her husband, Ricky. That’s no coincidence. They married young when they were so naïve.
I’m a Reality Show Contestant, and I Did Come Here to Make Friends
’m going to run, jump, and climb over anything that stands between me and other people thinking good thoughts about me.