Gentlemen, It’s Been an Honor Smelling Candles with You All in This HomeGoods Today
It goes without saying that when you've sniffed wax with as many husbands in home décor stores as I have, you tend to get jaded.
Tag: Friends
Announcing My Seasonal Transition to Fairweather Friend
Fairweather Friend Season commences with the onset of colder temperatures, and/or bird migration, and/or closed-toed shoes.
Your Promotion from Coworker to Friend Has Been Denied
We know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but unfortunately our pool was full of more qualified applicants or people we already know who lived closer.
Sorry, This Friend Group Already Has a Photographer
Your deal is Polaroids, right? That’s cute. I don’t mean that in a condescending way.
How to Still Be the Main Character of Your Friend Group Even Though One of Your Friends Got Hit by a Car
Now, is it sad? Of course. But the problem lies within people being concerned about her... more than they pay attention to you.
Coping with Your Acquaintance’s Divorce
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
The Room Where Everyone Talks About You Behind Your Back
Every Tuesday during that weird evening time slot where nobody you call picks up we’ve been coming here to air out our grievances away from you.
An Updated Pricing List for My Emotional Labor
Stranger Tier: The stranger package has been updated to eliminate basic greetings and small talk.
The Enemy of My Enemy
The enemy of my massage therapist, Janet, is her husband, Ricky. That’s no coincidence. They married young when they were so naïve.
I’m a Reality Show Contestant, and I Did Come Here to Make Friends
’m going to run, jump, and climb over anything that stands between me and other people thinking good thoughts about me.
Teens Need to Put Down Their Phones and Get Hunted by Me, a Masked Killer
I appreciate the new possibilities social media has created, but I worry about what they’re missing out on.
Imagined Diary of Woman Who Can Pull Off a Loose Braid
5:00 AM: After taking a deep mindful breath, I stroll outside to my gorgeous backyard and teach my daily Pilates class to the woodland creatures.