Responses to What People Wrote in My High School Yearbook
Hey, Capri, guess what? It wasn’t the best summer ever. Not even close. I worked the register at Walmart and got carpal tunnel.
Tag: Friends
Word Problems for Pandemic Weddings
If Keith's dad had to pick between his son having pre-marital sex or spreading a dangerous virus to 80 loved ones, how quickly did he choose wedding?
Beginner’s Guide to Writing a Birthday Text Message
Hoping things for the recipient is important. Also, there's a direct relationship between the message timing and its perceived value, so avoid delay.
What I Imagine Happens in the Books I Tell People I’m Reading
Becoming by Michelle Obama - A brief history of the bureaucratic red tape Michelle had to jump through to change her last name from Robinson.
I’ll Hold the Torch During This Treasure Hunt Because I’m Thoughtful
Before we go any further down this musty tunnel hunting for the Lost Amulet of Christopher Columbus, let's establish something: I'm Torch Guy.
The Maid of Honor Speech I Gave After Witnessing a Murder Before the Wedding
Earlier this afternoon I saw an unidentified man meet his life’s untimely finish line right on the same athletic track where we competed as teens.
An Open Letter to My Roomba That I Haven’t Seen in Five Days
It’s water under the bridge, just like when you’ve lodged yourself under my couch, even when you overheated and almost set my apartment on fire.
The Coronies – Pandemic Awards for This Year’s Best Performances
Best Foreign Film: When my boss tells me to speak up in meetings, sorry can’t, don't understand what’s happening.
My Life as an Empty Nester, According to Concerned Family and Friends
Deep, deep down, I do miss cleaning the bathroom after my son eats Chipotle’s Super Burrito with extra queso.
An Obituary for Your “College Friends” Group Chat
The college group chat will be remembered for its many colorful names, conferred by different members of the chat across its 11 years of existence.
Tidy Home Tips from the Last Remaining Snapple in the “Friends” Fridge
Living the past 16 years as the solitary Snapple left in the "Friends" fridge, I cherish what I have, even if it’s only the royalties from reruns.
All the Times Things Were “Not the Right Fit”
"Her butt is coming out first," my mom's ob-gyn told her six hours into her contractions. "This baby is just not the right fit."