Unsuccessful Proverbs About Bridesmaids
It’s a bridesmaid-eat-bridesmaid world. / Treat your friends like family and your family like bridesmaids. / Hate the bride, not the bridesmaid.
Tag: Friends
After Two Years of Emotional Misdirection, I’m Ready to Propose to the Love of My Life
She thinks I forgot what park it was! We walked by it two months ago and she said “Look! Do you remember?” and I said “What?"
What We Used to Call Him
We used to call him Champ, because he led the basketball team to the championships. Then we called him Let Down, because he missed the winning shot.
Not to Play Devil’s Advocate but Here Is a Factually Incorrect Point
What was I saying? Oh, when you were talking about racism, I agree with that. Well, sort of. I mean I agree that racism used to exist, which is bad.
Kaplan & The Knot Present: LSAT Logic Games Prep, Wedding Edition
Practice Set 1: Seating Chart Chaos: You and your fiance must seat 7 members of your bridal party (all of whom went to college together) at one table.
How to Fake Your Own Death to Avoid a Multi-Level Marketing Consultant
Gather your family and friends in a Wi-Fi-less underground shelter and give them an envelope disclosing which part of the Andes you’ll be hiding in.
How Opening Up About Going Gluten-Free Gave Me the Confidence to Bore the Shit out of Everyone I Meet
I owe it to the world to share, and the world owes it to me to shut its bread hole and endure my incessant babble about chickpea pasta.
I Take You to Be My Instagram Husband
We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome brand managers, heads of corporate sponsorships, and marketing coordinators.
Now That He’s Gone, I Can Share the Truth of How My Father, Mr. Peanut, Killed My Mother
Growing up, he was a hard legume to love. He showed no emotion, said very little, and was constantly traveling for work.
I Am Your Period Underwear and I Deserve a Goddamn Purple Heart
I was once beautiful. Lacy, soft, and placed with love into your dresser in the coveted spot next to that lavender sachet your grandmother gave you.
A Valedictorian Speech Composed Entirely of Staircase-Wit Comebacks
I wish I had said that. Instead, I broke into an ugly cry and stumbled from the room, having jammed a big toe on the life-sized skeleton model.
You Really Need to Get Box Seats for This Production in Order to Survive It
Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.