Yuppie Wedding Announcement Written by a Bitter Maid-of-Honor
The couple described the aesthetic of the reception venue as farmhouse chic. Notably, the bridesmaids were dressed as mason jars.
Tag: Friends
Various Life Crises You Will Undergo
Quarter of a Quarter Life Crisis: Age 6. You will cope by throwing tantrums before bedtime and refusing to share your trucks with Jeremy.
Don’t Come to America Until You’ve Already Achieved the American Dream
I hear what you’re saying: this really clashes with the overall narrative we’ve built up in the past century.
Lettuce Number the Reasons to Join Community-Supported Agriculture
Look forward to a wide variety of items in your CSA box like kale, swiss chard, baby kale, frisee, dino kale, a bunch of spiky weeds, and red kale.
Signs You’re Reading a Really Shitty Sequel to Stieg Larsson’s “Millennium” Trilogy
Instead of computer hacking, the heroine’s special skill is replicating the fruit bouquets from Edible Arrangement.
5 Moments at Grandpa’s Funeral That Were, In Retrospect, The Wrong Time to Set Up My LuLaRoe Pop Up
Grandpa would have appreciated that I identified the lighting near the casket as the best to showcase my stunning collection of floral maxi skirts.
Escape Room Mission Report for Susan’s 16th Birthday Party
When Lisa got bored and snuck a peek at the cobwebs, Julie told everyone about Lisa’s crush on your dandruffy history teacher.
Can I Help the Next Person in Line at the Department of Breakups?
We ask that you fill out all forms in pencil for this very reason; your forms are illegible because the ink has run everywhere due to your tears.
Other Things Elizabeth Warren Has a Plan For
Paying for that improv class. Paying for single-payer healthcare. Getting back together with Jeff. Convincing Jeff to come to your improv show.
It’s My Birthday Year!
QUARTER-BIRTHDAY: We'll kick things off with a low-key brunch nine months in advance of my birthday.
An Apology for Not Drinking at the Party Last Night
Waking up this morning without a hangover was a total bummer, and I fully regret making a conscious decision to do so.
Stages of Grief That You, A Prospective Homeowner, Will Have to Process Before Accepting Your Fate and Becoming a Mole Person
Obsession: Refresh Zillow every three minutes. Ignore texts from your friends. Optimize your meals by blending your food & sipping it from a thermos.