7 Fun & Flirty Head Injuries to Find True Love
Dizzy from the amount of sudden cardio of hiking, wobble, and then get hit in the head with a drone, the impact sending you down a sharp embankment.
Tag: Friends
Some of the Ways I Have Prevented George R.R. Martin From Finishing “The Winds of Winter”
One time I told him I heard a rumor that there was a dead body in the woods and invited him on a hike to see if it was true.
The Wall Leaves a Series of Voicemails for President Trump
I get it. You're not really interested in me. I'm just an object you can show off to your friends. "Ooh look, I'm Donald Trump and I have a big wall!"
I Just Found Out My Hot Gay Boyfriend Is Also My Twin Brother
I felt for the first time that I was seeing myself through someone else's eyes, but it turns out it was because I was seeing my twin brother.
I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason
They just don’t seem to realize that, in a prank-war, these things just happen. It's no one’s fault, and nothing anyone should get in trouble for.
Instructions for the True Crime Podcast Producers Investigating My Unsolved Murder
You probably want to spend one episode on how I was a loving husband and good friend who did nothing to deserve this, whatever "this" ends up being.
The Pros and Cons of Owning Different Pets
Small Fish | Pros: They are angular and elegant-looking. Do not require much upkeep or food expenses. Cons: You have had it 3 hours. It's dead.
A People’s History of My Failed Marriage
Power concedes nothing without demand, Janet. No longer will you say that I drank seven guitargaritas at the Tampa Hard Rock Hotel & then wet myself.
Where I’ll Meet My Soulmate, According to Romantic Comedies
Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.
The Newborn’s Guide to Saving Up for Retirement
You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.
Stop Giving TV Shows Confusing Names and Use My Much Better Ones Instead
"West World" This title could not be more vague. West? World? You’ve lost me. Improved Title: "Beep Boop Yeehaw"
How I Became an Instagram Influencer after the Zombie Apocalypse
Honestly, rediscovering Instagram after dying and reanimating as the insatiable undead has really put me in touch with my humanity again.