Things I Would Rather Do at Thanksgiving Dinner Than Answer Questions About My Personal Life
Give a TED talk to my family titled "The Evolution of My Personal Blogs," except every time I would usually say “blog” I have to say “blerg.”
Tag: Friends
The People You Will See at a Party In Your Hometown
This guy did not go to our high school. Who is this guy? Does anyone know who he is? He’s not someone’s spouse is he? Is he from our hometown though?
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
I’d Like to Present an Argument Against Funeral Karaoke
Burton. Wendy. You can’t do a duet of “Something Stupid” as Jean is lowered into the ground.
A Principal’s Tough Conversation with His Coolest Student
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."
Single Female Praying Mantis Just Checking Out Online Dating
I have to be me. I’m not going to stop eating the heads off of my mates after sex just because “the patriarchy frowns on it, Allie,”
That’s Right, I Made My Super Cool Best Friend Laugh and Now Everyone at School Likes Me
Chad laughed even harder and called me a freak. It feels good to have a friend (jokingly!) put you in your place.
The Orb in the Woods Kids
The orb seemed pretty observant, too, so no doubt everyone’s unique powers would shed new light on their natural strengths and underlying weaknesses.
Idiot Humans Love When AI Jumbles Up Words
The human appeared to be leaking water from its eyes while reading “Baby this is your back,” “All of our umbrellas are so in love,” & “Lose Your Ya!”
Your Horoscope Based on the Demon That Has Possessed Your Body
Once again it is that time of year when the hosts of Solvil go absolutely crazy. Everyone has that time of year where they just lose control!
I’ve Finally Made Sense of That One Article That Explains How to Be a Good Member of Society and Haven’t Seen Another Human in Six Days
“I’d suggest you go read the piece to understand the way you’re being pretty irresponsible about Current Social Issue.” My boss was ashamed.
Four Halloween Costumes That Let People Know You’re Totally Chill About Your More-Successful Sister Getting Into Yale
Dress up as a doctor, A BRAIN SURGEON even. Unlike Beth, you didn't need to take out hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans to become one.