You’re Invited to Celebrate the 15th Anniversary of My Grudge Against Cindy
We both loved Avril and each other and had friendship bracelets to prove it. It would be weeks before I learned that she was a rotten, heartless liar.
Tag: Friends
Struggling with Summer Depression? Camp Longface Welcomes You!
Sure, the freezing lake water feels like a thousand needles in your body. But sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you can feel anything at all.
Introducing the Brand New White Privilege Tracker App
Earn points when you accidentally blow through a stop sign and understand that people of color could not laugh with the police officer about it.
Movie-Line Outtakes
"Favorite sled." -- Charles Foster Kane, Citizen Kane
Quarterly Review
I thought this was a quarter but it’s actually a POG. I traded it to my friend Dennis for a real quarter.
Reviews of the Moonlight Bed and Breakfast and Its Owners’ Marital Implosion
My boyfriend made the reservation and the owner almost wouldn’t let us check in because my name is Janice.
A Response From the Woman Formerly Known as “Jessie’s Girl”
Your most memorable characteristics of me were “those eyes” and “that body.” Newsflash, Rick: most women on this planet have eyes and a body.
Your New Stress Reducing, Anxiety Relieving, Weighted Blanket
My parents got me this as a housewarming gift but I still live with them. Does this mean they want me to move out?
Predict How Alone You’ll Die
2. You thought your invitation to Megan’s bridal shower was coming, only to see two other women just Insta'd photos from the shower. What do you do?
How to Befriend an Introvert: An FAQ
Will my introvert get along with other introverts? Absolutely! Tenderly move them to a safe space for them to bond over their feelings or whatever.
A Paleo-Diet Enthusiast Travels to the Paleolithic Era
I offended my hosts yesterday when I criticized their dining options. I guess they don't recognize a paleo guru when they see one.
Goddammit, I Think I Earnestly Like Everything I Claim to Like Ironically
I wasn’t just enjoying, but empathizing with contestants on The Bachelor. I shut it off and recollected my ironic self over a lukewarm Zima.