4 Ways to Make Childhood Friend Reunions More Bearable
Why is it that hanging out with your childhood best friend now feels like small-talking with the lady at the supermarket who complains about her allergies?
Tag: Friends
Listen Carl, You Need to Stop Saying Schadenfreude All the Time
I know for a fact that schadenfreude is the only German word you know. Try saying kugelschreiber or apfelsaft in a sentence and have it actually mean something.
A Letter of Recommendation Template for Men Struggling to Date
After I wrote my friend Dave a letter of recommendation, his dating dry spell ended immediately. Now I'm giving you permission to use the same template!
I Bought an Energy-Efficient Laundry Machine Because It Has a See-Through Lid
I used to worry about the world, about a lot of things, but now that I have a washing machine with a see-through lid, everything seems just fine.
Welcome to The Wachowski Home for Unremarkable Orphans
At The Wachowski Home, we believe that each of our orphans is generic and unremarkable in their own unoriginal way. Join us for basic living standards and practical preparation.
Revealing Excerpts From Winnie the Pooh’s Diary
June 17: Eeyore finally offed himself. We all knew it was coming, and what did we do? Did nothing, sed nothing. I shood have been a better friend. I shood have been there fore him.
Tragedies are Everywhere, and They’re Coming for Your Loved Ones
We see them on television, and we hear about them from our friends who got updated about them on Facebook--which, at this point, may as well just be called MyTragedyUpdate.com.
Millennial Charlotte Brontë Goes to the Mall
One listen to HIM, the Finnish lords and saviors whose hit single "Killing Loneliness" contains the secret to living, and Gloom's gospel will quickly unmask the jolly tendencies you maintain.
Tao of a Lowlife: A Message from the Guy Who Still Lives in Your Hometown
It frustrates you to know I get laid more than you. I have chicken legs and a cartoonish beer belly. I have a hooknose and my eyes are a bit too close together.
You Didn’t Get the Job, But I Think We’d Make Great Friends
Unfortunately, we've decided to go a different way. But we honestly did enjoy our conversation and I was wondering, do you want to hang out sometime?
I’d Love to Get Eaten
If I got eaten, nobody would be sour on me anymore. They’d use words like “valiant” to describe my life and valiant death.
I’m Sorry I Blocked You On Facebook But I’d Like to Continue Sleeping Together
I don't see why we can’t continue to to do sex even though I’ve terminated our Facebook friendship. After all, it’s called "friends with benefits," not "Facebook friends with benefits."