Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?”
No one was as close to me as Elliott. We were two peas in a pod, a regular pair of pals, two elephants in a diaper.
Tag: Friends
8 Reboots That Literally Ruined Your Childhood and Also, Your Half of the Rent Is Due
Childhood = Ruined! Kind of like our trust with our landlord if we don’t get that rent in on time.
How to Pretend You Had Friends Pre-Pandemic: A Phrasebook
“Hi!” (casual) or “Hello!” (formal): These will give the impression that you are used to greeting people and it does not frighten you.
I Was Birding Before It Was Cool
Just wanted to send a solid “wassup” to our 4,000 new members who joined during the pandemic. Our group is now 4,014 birders strong.
I Am the Hiring Algorithm That Didn’t Select Your Job Application, and These Are the Words You Had to Say to Get an Interview
‘My’ ‘Cousin’ ‘Ben’ ‘Works’ ‘In’ ‘Accounting’ ‘And’ ‘He’ ‘Already’ ‘Flagged’ ‘My’ ‘Application’ Surprising, huh?! Who knew it was that simple?!
I’m the Couch You Left at the Curb, and I Am Pissed
Whose fault is it I don’t look perfect anymore? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my arms that splashed me with queso dip.
6 Ways to Save $400 Million Before Age 30 by Budgeting, Smart Saving, and Hitting the Powerball
Through budgeting tweaks and a winning Powerball lottery ticket, you, too, can be living with no debt and $400 million in savings.
The 12 Months of Midwestern Winter
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
I Read a Book in Quarantine, and Yes, That Does Make Me Better than You
Don't be intimidated, I'm still just like you, only quite a bit better now. You see, I read an entire book during quarantine.
Q&A When Someone Learns You’re Colorblind
Can you see this? Yes, of course. What is it? A banana. No, I mean, like, what color is it? Yellow.
Do You Guys Hate Me?
If you were planning one of the many parties I assume you have without me, would you: A) Invite me! B) Neglect me!
An Obituary for All the Fucks I Had to Give
All My Fucks graduated from Shame University in 1998 with high honors.