Friends | Page 9 | Points in Case

Tag: Friends

The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”

As an Aries, boundaries are non-existent to me. I love to share. (I shared private medical details about you with four strangers on a bus.)

Jess was always really happy. It’s just that she was usually too sad to show it. And I should know, as her best friend since fourth grade.

Subscription to the Nonrefundable Security Deposit Wine of the Month Club – Let them drown their sorrows with Funk Band Bordeaux or Bouquet of Rosé.

Did you know a stroke of lightning lasts roughly 30 microseconds? DID YOU?! What if I hadn’t hit the cable at the right microsecond, Doc?

Let whiskey cook slowly until boil. Add reckless spoonfuls of cinnamon until brown haze floats over liquid like a haunted fart.

Harrison has devoted the majority of his campaign to securing a beach-themed winter dance, prompted by his older brother's copy of Girls Gone Wild.

Anyways, the uncapped Sharpie is getting me high, so I need to make this quick.

She went on an all-inclusive vacation with her girlfriends last summer. She got double the number of Facebook birthday messages you did.

Sure, I was just a young kid back then, but I don’t really see what else has changed. Is Perfect Dark not badass anymore? Because no one told me.

You like dark clothing and hate anything that smacks of hierarchy, unless it’s a revolutionary army. You’re a bit of an underdeveloped trope.

Like, it's actually important, it will only take a second or 30 full minutes, time means nothing to me, I'm 7 shots deep and had lettuce for dinner.