This Goddamn Computer is Going to Save Our Family
1946 is going to be a good year for us, my blessed family. Because with the last of our savings I've purchased us a state of the art home computer!
Tag: Future
Maximize Your Life with the Rapid Immortality Plan!
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why do I have to die?” Well, let me be the first to tell you that you’re not alone in your morbid fascination with your own mortality.
Five Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2016
In 2016, at least we'll know Donald Trump has been defeated, Star Wars will live on, and I'll live on without Panera and Starbucks every day.
Driving Etiquette for the Future
Of course we'll have flying cars in the future. But there's more to driving than cars; there's going to be a whole new driving etiquette based on personal responsibility.
Five Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2015
I’ve noticed a general shift in the public’s thinking about whether or not it’s appropriate to wear yoga pants and leggings as everyday pants. WEAR THEM, trust me.
2014 as It Happened in a Parallel Universe
Although the year 2014 in our universe would make anyone consider turning into one of those "Doomsday Preppers" nutjobs, it was a different story in Zborft.
As a Clairvoyant, I am Able to— Hey, Where’re You Going?
What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Well, neither did I. But with this degree of authenticity from DelphiUniversity.com, I assure you my intuition is real.
10 Things to Look Forward to as You Get Older
Women, you will painfully observe the slow process men go though as they reach the point where they no longer try to win you over. Men, there's always Viagra.
We’re All Fucked, ‘Cause You Know, Robots
The REAL robots are super-sleek job-killing bastards, designed by humans to slowly wage a war of attrition on the working class until nothing is left but hyper-rich human robot owners.
Idiots of the Future, Today
There's a lot of cool new stuff in the world, but it still feels like the same place. And that's mainly because it's still populated with the same jackasses and idiots.
In the Future There Will Be Swords Again
I am from the future and my people chose me to come back and warn your generation about the oncoming swordslaught. Every horrifying tales of the human downfall involves swords.
Hey Future Employers
How's it going? I see you're researching me for a position in your company, school, or burger joint. I just want you to know, I've drunk alcohol and smoked pot before.