<p><em>Today I have for you some comedy sloppy seconds. I submitted a piece to the comedy website McSweeney's, but I guess it wasn't pseudo-intellectual enough or whatever. Here it is, you be the judge. </em></p><p><strong>The Genitals of the Future<br />by Paul Frank</strong></p>
True Companion has developed the world's first sex robot, a life-size doll designed to engage you in conversation rather than lifelike movement. Uhh... sweet?
Think you got the dangling participles it takes to be a PIC writer? First change your name, then buy a pair of sunglasses. Here comes infamy.
The government has a special site setup to explain Social Security to kids using fables. Mike has a special column to say, 'Fuck you.'
50 years from now, some of today's hottest jobs will already be perfected by robots. Is your career path a dead end?
The year 2005 isn't everything we had hoped for, but with a few tweaks (more steroid use and Iraq war coverage, etc.) it might be a little better.
Historically, men have always been the hornier of the two sexes. But what would happen if women suddenly juiced up their hormones?
Your Future is You
Human relationships getting stale? Save time, breath, and money by investing in the emotional and sexual stability of a lifelike robot model.