Jack-o’-Lantern Designs That Say “We’re Filing for Divorce”
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
Tag: God
An Inside Look at the Crack Marketing Team at Pornhub
If I’ve already showered I’ll typically just pour something sticky on my head like honey or maple syrup and pretend it was an accident.
Excerpts from the Harry Potter Series, Reprinted in the Trumpian Translation
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: This one’s about people from different backgrounds coming together to fight for a greater good. Skip!
[Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon]
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
Christopher Columbus Discovered Heaven
The only problem with Heaven is that it doesn’t last long, depending on how strong your beans are, and so the key is to keep drinking more of it.
My Car is Dead But My Soul is Alive
God, I haven't ridden a bike for years. Okay, that still works. Yes, I have thighs. Thick thighs. Strong thighs. Thunder God thighs.
75 Years Since #MeToo: Men Have Never Had It Worse
Since #MeToo, most men have ceased screaming sexually explicit compliments from the open windows of their turbo-charged street shuttles.
6 Ways to Sneeze Exclusively for Attention This Fall
That classic ah-choo is so familiar sounding. That choo-choo that comes from toy trains you used to have as a child? Now that’s a cute time.
Becca’s Baking Blog: This Banana Bread Will Fuck Your Shit Up
And before you ask, you disgusting skid mark, yes, we’re sifting our dry ingredients before combining. We weren’t raised by fucking mole people.
To the Stranger Who Hogged the Dance Dance Revolution Machine
How did you ask me to watch your gallon jug of water without a second thought or an inkling of remorse?
My First Day at the Department for Duplicated Departments
10.15 am - Somone tries to get into the office but gets lost in the revolving doors.
Emails Between God and His IT Guy
Don’t worry, Big Man, we’ll figure this out. (By the way, You really should come downstairs to level 5 to get a cupcake!)