Guides | Page 34 | Points in Case

Tag: Guides

Impulsive purchases of garden gnomes. Contact your doctor immediately if you accumulate more than fifty, especially if where you live is very small.

Flamingo costume: Your sunglasses were stolen when you left them on the dash. Also, the parade is for celebrating, but you won't take any steps back.

Princesses are always getting smooched and we can get kisses, too! And hey, if we're going through a dry spell, a frog's not the worst option.

If a stranger with a black eye winks at you on the street, that’s a surefire giveaway that your cats are pedalling human violence for profit.

When he starts pounding on the walls because he is scared and wants to run from the skeleton who you just said was inside him, you must act quickly.

Steve slams his fist on the table in the interrogation room. “Talk to me!” he screams. Slippery Soap flinches.

Fenrir and Sköll were raised by wolves in the New Mexico desert. Today, the feral sisters redesign homes for people who identify as animals.

Negative and disgusting things you should save until at least the second date, if you're lucky enough to get that far.

Steal a seat from a pregnant woman who was about to sit down, then pull out a copy of "Angels & Demons" and bury your head in it.

Dad Bod Mints: Like the popular “Thin Mints,” but thicker, and with a little bit of hair.

Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.

Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.