How to Play the Guitar for Morons
Let’s be honest, everyone wants to play the guitar. What you need are beginner guitar lessons from an undiscovered genius.
Tag: Guides
Nice One, Dipshit! You Hurt Your Dentist’s Feelings by Saying Teeth are “Just Okay”
Your dentist is crying in the corner of the room and refusing to finish fixing those busted-up, tic-tac-lookin’ mother effers that you call teeth.
Top Places for Dudes to Cry
Don't cry in a work bathroom---a co-worker or boss might see your shoes, hear you crying, and think you poop too hard.
How to Give a Stool Sample with Only 4-6 Emotional Breakdowns in 50 Easy Steps
28. Accidentally get poo on your fingers. 29. Question how humankind can get a person on the moon but can’t develop a less primitive way to procure stool samples.
Honest Rules for Staying at Grandma’s House
Good manners are expected at all times. That means always saying “please,” “thank you,” and “our mother made a terrible mistake not baptizing us.”
New Economy Seating Options at United Airlines
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
Euphemism Used to Describe a White Male Bomber or Shirelles Song?
Are you better than the media? Assess these 21 phrases and find out whether you can distinguish bomber talk from 1960's R&B songs by The Shirelles.
30 More Practical Uses for Donald Trump’s Hair
#15: A renewable source of shitty Target sweaters through the year 3035. #18: Stopper for a Jiffy Lube grease pit.
Introducing Old Navy Body Armor!
When you’re wearing this tweed, you’ll (hopefully) never have to bleed! These battle blazers are made of our strongest tungsten chainmail.
The Five Stages of Switching Your Twitter Account to Public
Blocking foot-fetishist would mean losing a follower. It's not a competition, but Gabby has a ton of new followers with her "Trump sucks" schtick.
How to Interpret Requests for Lawyer Animals
“Give me a lawyer penguin.” This suspect would like to be represented by Danny Devito’s Penguin from the classic Batman Returns.
Ways to Straight Up Chill with Your Homeboy, Even Though He’s Always Chasing a Cartoon Bird
At a certain point, your homeboy Wile E. must realize there's more to life than trying to murder some bird. Like chilling on a perfect afternoon.