Top 10 Reasons I Still Need a Cowboy to Take Me Away in 2024
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
Don’t end up on a hilarious, reality prank show like "Milk or Sumo!"
This is also a good time to unwrap any candies or cough drops for which you anticipate a need and to pre-chew noisy crackers.
For all you foodies out there, you should know that very few alehouses carry meade, let alone fresh horsemeat.
A salad? After Labor Day? I don’t think so. I passed the salad place and said to myself, “Not today. Today is Tuesday. Tacos.”
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.
Two friends book a cabin with two beds on Airbnb, but upon arriving they realize the second bed is actually a yoga mat with a blanket and pillow.
If you have an insatiable lust for owing thousands of dollars to a university, then don't let other people's warnings slow you down.
“Candidates should be comfortable with ambiguity.” Translation: We have no idea what’s going on.
Stranger Tier: The stranger package has been updated to eliminate basic greetings and small talk.
Feelings of guilt and shame will give you the boost you need to keep on crunching. Your core will thank you!
The “Seat Yourself” sign in a totally empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly at the host stand for 15 minutes.