5 Distracting Topics to Bring Up While Your Family Opens Your Shitty Gifts
Did you hear my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Applebaum passed away? She was only 67. Really makes you appreciate that Halloween mug, doesn't it?
Tag: Guides
30-Point NYC Subway Improvement Plan
As part of white collar drug treatment program, baristas serve liquid methadone lattes on G train. Every other Thursday, system-wide Backwards Day.
What to Do in the Event of a Shark Attack
Mirror the shark's movements so it thinks it's looking into a mirror, and then the second it gets suspicious, bonk it on the head and swim away.
How to Nail Your Next Job Interview Even Though the Return of Xwq, the Celestial Obliviator, is All You Can Think About
Project confident body language, even if your instinctive reaction to the Ashes cementing Xwq's control on your mind is to slouch and fidget.
4 Reasons You Will Fall Asleep During Sex in Your 20’s
Rejecting the opportunity to Google duck penises all night on the internet just to have sex with someone is a slap in the face to Bill Gates.
3 Shocking Things I Learned Working at Home Depot
True story: An albino man named Moth operates shock collars behind the scenes, delivering painful volts if an employee comes within 25 feet of a customer.
10 Time-Saving Beauty Tips From a New Mom
Get ready to flip that Jean Nate-age, time-consuming beauty philosophy into a beauty routine that fits into the 30 seconds you have to pee.
How to Survive a Midlife Crisis
Are you having a midlife crisis? If so, just relax, take a deep breath, and use this list of positive strategies to help you get through it.
A Zen Guide to Surviving a Red State Thanksgiving
Going home for the holidays is never easy, especially when your relatives start talking about politics. Here's some advice to help you through this Thanksgiving.
Travel Advice from Someone Who Totally Went to Africa
Before planning your trip to Africa, consider the advice of someone who has been there many times and is totally not making stuff up based on movies.
3 Practical Ways to Shut Down a Political Argument During Thanksgiving Dinner
As soon as you hear the first political remark that makes everyone clench their silverware, go ahead and loudly ask someone to "PASS THE SCRAMBLED EGGS."
4 Glowing Reviews of My Grad School Basement Apartment
There's nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a tiny, dingy $800-a-month basement apartment to remind you that your dreams are a sham.