How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
One has many obstacles to surmount when constructing the proper peanut butter (PB) and jelly (J) sandwich. Failure to plan properly may result in dangerous consequences.
Tag: Guides
How to Survive a Break-Up: 10 Guidelines of Emotional Support
Breaking up with someone can be extremely painful—I should know, I watched it happen on TV once. Here are the realistic feelings to expect and actions to take.
6 Death Penalty Methods for Capital Punishment Traditionalists
Whatever happened to boiling people in oil? Or the guillotine, or hot lead, or stoning people? Now you have to go to Saudi Arabia for good old-fashioned executions.
7 Situations in Which Never to Use a List-Based Format
The internet crushes at lists. But here are seven situations in which it would be, I'm afraid, downright inappropriate to use a list-based presentation format.
5 Steps to Becoming a High-Functioning Alcoholic
It’s easy to become an alcoholic, since life is pretty terrible, but how to keep drinking and still (appear to) be a functioning member of society?
Instructions for Steve Harwell’s Personalized Vape Pen
You are now that much closer to achieving nirvana with the Kloud Kicker himself, vape creator and lead singer of Smash Mouth, Steve Harwell.
10 Things to Say When Your Dentist Asks “How Do You Like My Fingers In Your Mouth?”
Don’t tell my wife, but I love it. I stopped brushing just so I’d have to come here more often and get those feather dusters you call fingers glossing my yellowed mouth ivy.
Blah vs. Bleh: Dawn of Blech
What happens when movie studios run out of superheroes? They make the same movies, but about ordinary, non-superhero people and household objects.
5 Shitty Truths About Doing “Storage Wars” in Real Life
When someone stops paying rent on a storage unit, the storage facility doesn't just keep the stuff in there forever, they auction it off to the unluckiest bidder.
Three Requirements for Male Bonding at Trough Urinals
There are very specific conditions necessary for the primal of forces, the trough urinal bond, to take hold. Men, take note before unzipping.
The 7 Most Annoying Types of 911 Callers
I am one of the sometimes disillusioned yet endlessly friendly 911 dispatchers, and I am here to share some highlights of the people wasting your tax dollars.
The 5 Cats You’ll Have to Euthanize Before You Find Mr. Right
The fact is there's only room for one lazy prick in each lady's household. So, once you've made the decision that a man can ignore you in ways a cat just can't...