Gyms | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Gyms

The equipment is hazardous and doesn’t even work. Yesterday, I pulled the power cord from Debbie’s treadmill and the thing just stopped on a dime.

I don’t appreciate him shaking his moneymaker on my television set to the tune of four easy payments of $19.95.

You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.

Does everyone have a string of rosary beads? It's very important to warm your muscles by lightly flagellating your body.

Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.

Phrases evoking imagery of a well-powered cabin like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” could be a huge red flag.

While I could find satisfaction in work, the steps I take while pacing tearfully in the work bathroom help me add thousands of steps each week.

We will make our own at-home exercises—ones that won’t make you want to lay on your floor begging God or Satan for a moment of relief.

We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.

Whatever kind of minority you are, it would be helpful if you could be very visible about your minority status, at least in company photos.

I am simply part of the gym’s existence, like the water fountain and the ambient hip-hop music piped in through invisible speakers.

The confirmation page for my gym hadn’t even loaded before I put out a group text to my closest friends telling them that I was a CrossFit guy now.