Conversation Topics Short Enough to Complete with My Barber While I, a Nearly Entirely Bald 55-Year-Old Man, Get My Hair Cut
Good reasons for anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances, to buy, make, or consume a blueberry bagel.
Tag: Hair
Real Amazon Reviews for Decorative Fall Leaf Garland, or Family Gossip About My Bold New Hairstyle?
Doesn’t fall correctly… I don’t know what the ideal shape would be, but this wasn’t it.
This Aesthetic Subway Ad Is Here to Tell You That You Are Going Bald as Shit
Not "thinning out." Not "George Costanza-ing." Nope. You're going full-on, sunscreen on your scalp, brain-practically-exposed BALD.
Thanks for Giving Me the Exact Compliment I Definitely Wasn’t Fishing For
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
I Am Your Forehead and I’m Here to Tell You Your Receding Hairline Ain’t So Bad
Don’t think of it as a "weakening of the hairline." Think of it as a "strengthening of the forehead."
Today Is Opposite Day: Here’s How to Not Not (Not?) Get Bullied by an Eight-Year-Old Named Kalley
Today’s Opposite Day was triggered by my friend’s child, Kalley, who expressed that I "had a nice haircut… on Opposite Day."
I Am Your Side Part, and I Am Here to Stay, Bitch
You’re such a hypocrite, standing by your skinny jeans but not me! How have you been in therapy this long and still care what the mean girls are saying?
Once I Uncurl Your Tresses, You Will Be the Prettiest Maiden in the Land
The thickness of the summer air has once again damned you. I say, I’m going to return with some hot coals to singe those satan ropes.
Is My Dog a Wolf?
Just like wolf mamas out in the wild, she has a den (our closet) where she keeps her babies (plushies, only the ones with faces).
I’m Your Judgmental Hair Stylist: Ready for Your First Post-Vax Haircut?
What have you been up to during Covid, other than neglecting your split ends, obviously? Did you box dye your hair? I thought so.
What People Walking Behind Me Think, Probably
"His sneakers are kind of beat up, but that just shows he's a man of values, of integrity. Everyone respects him for this."
I Shaved My Head and Now I’m Stanley Tucci
I guess I just need some time to wrap my perfectly symmetrical head around this bizarre predicament.