My Boyfriend Left Me for a Girl Who Sings Sensual Covers of Alternative Rock Songs on YouTube
Things got worse after I said my favorite R.E.M. song was “Shiny Happy People.” He got so angry that I thought his slim body was going to overheat.
Tag: Hair
Man Delivery Kits for the Single Lady
Finally a solution to your social single anxiety! "Bacchus’ Mission" delivers a man in a tiny vessel that you can toss in your freezer until a party.
Bigheaded People Want the Medical Recognition They Deserve
Have you ever been out shopping and you try on a super-cute top and it gets stuck and you look like you’re wearing a nun costume?
Letters From a Shakesperean Manic Pixie Dream Girl
What can I say? Sometimes I feel like one of the fellows. After all, I’d rather have a turkey leg and mead than vegetables from the garden any day.
How to Survive St. Patrick’s Day Without Revealing You’ve Been Cursed to Take the Form of a Leprechaun
You’re two feet tall and none of your clothes fit anymore. This new trait may be the most noticeable, but it’s also the easiest to explain.
A Guide to College Theater Class Warm-Up Games
Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.
Colonel Aureliano Buendía is Cancelled
Sorry, I can’t join your ragtag militia of freedom fighters, Mr. Buendía, I’m busy fighting to free my mind of institutionalized perceptions of truth and justice.
A Room-By-Room Explanation of Why You’re Paranoid and I’m Not Cheating
Is it really necessary to go through the garbage can? Yes, I see the notes you’ve found. They’re also from my mother.
My Mother Watches the Oscars With Me
Oh, Christian Bale, nominated for playing a 60-year-old man with a potbelly who only thinks about himself. Your father could have played that role.
Join the Gentleman’s Club
A quick moment to describe my surroundings: Chateau Gentleman is a leathery affair. Everything you could possibly imagine could be embroidered is so.
Things That Used to Be Fun in High School, But Aren’t Anymore
In order to experience that again, I had to erase my first kiss. I tracked down any record or indication that Julie Wexler ever walked the Earth.
I Was Going to Do Dry January But Then I Was Kidnapped by a Band of Pirates
I’m disappointed in myself for not finishing Dry January (and for raiding Tortuga), but now I have new friends and I learned how to load a powder keg.