The Many Alarm Clocks Unemployed People Wake Up To
10:00 A.M: A phone call! Could it be an inteview? No, just those Mormon missionaries you gave your number to during that “Who am I” phase in college.
Tag: Halloween
Important Change to Your Amazing Prime Membership
We are, however, committed to making you feel like you are a premium customer.
Other New Policies Recently Approved By NFL Owners
Players who take, like, 20 napkins and then use, like, just two napkins and throw away the other 18 will be ejected from the game.
Synopsis of “Like An Image: The Group Text Musical”
Andrew has a new response for everything (“Lmaoooooo Yes”). Ralph comes to back to the group text (“Sup It’s Been Awhile”).
Now That My Girlfriend Left Me, I’m Fattening Up to Be Eaten by a Witch
I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
20 Signs You May Be Dealing with Trick-or-Treaters Who Are a Little Too Old for This Shit
"Why, back in my day, we had to walk 50 miles through the snow just to get gruel and hardtack. Got any medical appliances?"
5 Halloween Costumes That Say “I’m Fun, and Not Gonna Accidentally Start a Fire This Year”
This year you need to wear a costume that shows off your fun-loving personality while also assuring everyone you won't accidentally set an antique table on fire again.
An Open Letter to My Neighbors Who Insist on Hanging a Scary Clown Decoration from a Tree Over the Sidewalk Every October
I'm not going to say that the clown is FRIGHTENING, since I'm an adult and being afraid of a Halloween decoration would be silly. But take it down, ok?
Young Wizarding School Orientation Speech
Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
I Found Love at Darren G.’s Radioactive Wasteland, Southern New Jersey’s #4 Haunted Attraction
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.
35th Annual RC Cola Office Halloween Party Costume Competition
Middle age adults temporarily embrace a facade of youth by dressing as ironically humorous characters while battling unironic mid-life crises.
Top 5 Sexiest Female Slayers/Hunters
The hottest supernatural female slayer/hunters, as well as those women who just happen to have bad-ass monster-killing skills.