Signs Your Therapist Is a Robot
Instead of a medical degree, they display the Three Laws of Robotics and a nude photo of R2D2 on the wall.
Instead of a medical degree, they display the Three Laws of Robotics and a nude photo of R2D2 on the wall.
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”
You have a sense of inferiority to people with innies, but a sense of superiority to kangaroos and other marsupials that lack belly buttons.
Being an accountant isn’t all about money, eating tuna sandwiches in the breakroom, and getting picked last for the company dodgeball team.
Bra-Sizing Woman: She looks young, maybe eighteen, and I wonder to myself if this might be illegal.
According to legend, the Egyptian ruler Cleopatra made out with the Roman general Mark Antony for several hours before falling asleep.
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
Increased Risk for Age-Related Macular Degeneration / 100% Not NOT That Bitch / Likely photic sneeze reflex
You flee down hallways. Everywhere, people are being NICE to each other! They jump out from the darkness, only to grab other people in huge hugs!
An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.
It is so very, very stuck. Goddamnit, Frank. Goddamnit. You just had to eat the whole thing, didn’t you? You know better than to try shit like this.
Public Father-Son Relationship Repair Stations: A stern daddy figure who’s really a teddy bear is waiting to surprise you with a big, warm hug.