Greetings from Small, Tiny, Little Asian Girl
I’m not actually Chinese but, as Chinese is the official language of all of Asia and being Asian, means I’m Chinese. I see you are quite cultured, sir.
Tag: Health
Sure, My Parents May Be the King and Queen of a Small Country, But I’m Not the Least Bit Privileged
People tell me I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but that’s not true at all. It was bronze.
Groupon Deals Tailored to Your Emotional Breakdown
Spend a luxurious evening in a gorgeous Four Seasons suite with an ex lover of your choosing. You passed right through denial and into anger.
Five Natural Beauty Products That Don’t Work as Well as That Chemical Shit
You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.
No, Our Restaurant Was Not “Shut Down,” We Are Simply Pivoting
Our organic farm-to-table eatery is now also BYOM (Bring Your Own Meals). That’s right. You bring the food, we bring the vibes.
How to Grocery Shop When You’re Too Fucking High
The first thing you will notice is that there are a lot of sober people at grocery stores. Can they tell you’re stoned?
If Your 2020 Campaign Ad Culminates in a Swell of Patriotic Music, I Will Vote for You
That’s it. No need to risk making promises you can’t keep or guarantee sweeping policy reform that is realistically unattainable in the short term.
My New Job Needs to Be Boyfriend Material
It's not that I’m afraid of commitment—I just don’t want to start something that’s not right for me.
We’re Going Green! My Neil Young Tribute Band Is No Longer Using Gasoline-Powered Instruments
At our first show without the droning hum of our generator, it was scary to launch into our opener, a cover of “The Big Rock Candy Mountain.”
Harry Potter’s Grief Letter to Dumbledore
I cannot forgive you for making me spend what would have been my final year at Hogwarts shitting in the woods.
It Was Hot Girl Summer, Now It’s Early Pregnancy Fall!
Enjoy hiding your emerging pregnancy bump under cozy oversized sweaters and finding the best OBG/YN for your star sign.
FDA-Approved Vape Flavors (For Adults Only!)
These FDA-Approved Fusion Flavors™? are guaranteed to provide a satisfying Juul experience that appeals exclusively to people over 40.