Bill: You Have 13 Unread Emails from Change.org, Answer Them Right Now
(12/16/18 --- 10:46 AM) Bill-- 6-year-old Johnny Casin has some serious dirt on your ex-wife, Brittany.
(12/16/18 --- 10:46 AM) Bill-- 6-year-old Johnny Casin has some serious dirt on your ex-wife, Brittany.
Fetch this bar of chocolate that would serve two or three of my adoring subjects, but which I will eat entirely by mine own self, as is my right.
Or there’s a penny stuck in your nose. Then again, when was the last time you really took a good hard look at your nervous system?
Let go. Really, just let go. The truth will come. Sometimes a fart will come. A fart is just another kind of truth. #yogaeverydamnday
Breakfast is key. I’m thinking an egg white omelette, a couple slices of toast with peanut butter—wait where did you find a Gogurt?
How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?
I know I certainly didn't fight my way through twelve miles of wilderness with no face to allow big government to turn all of our kids autistic.
I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.
One time I told him I heard a rumor that there was a dead body in the woods and invited him on a hike to see if it was true.
Let this dry skin mask sit for 30 minutes while you contemplate why everyone else's bully peaked in high school but Claire is now an Instagram celeb.
Merrells are suddenly the only shoes that don’t "hurt your feet," and you explain this to strangers, even though your feet have never hurt.
Chuck Norris continues to beat the sun in staring contests and that alone probably disproves climate change.