Health | Page 33 | Points in Case

Tag: Health

Michael and LeBron do not like mountain climbing. They’re just not any good at it. Conversely, Baby Goat can scale a mountain like nothing.

Off you go, all of you including my two precious grandchildren! I’ll be staying here in the visitor’s center, experiencing the wonder vicariously.

Inhale deeply, for you must use the communal microwave to reheat your leftover risotto, which will add another layer to the complex scent.

Give them a single tantalizing tidbit such as, “Bernice had many secrets, one of which involved a prominent member of Congress from Wisconsin."

Do not launder money through your birdhouse. It is a crime punishable by penalty of not getting to have a birdhouse anymore.

Sure, the freezing lake water feels like a thousand needles in your body. But sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you can feel anything at all.

"Favorite sled." -- Charles Foster Kane, Citizen Kane

If I get cream cheese on my nose, don’t dare lick it off, for The Lord Your Dog is a jealous Dog when cream cheese is nigh, and whipped cream too.

8:00 p.m. --- Lunchtime! Wait, since when was it 8 p.m.? Have you not eaten anything today? Don’t panic. There’s a sleeve of Oreos on the table.

Froot Loops’ Toucan Sam is about as dreamy as tropical birds get. Father McGillicuddy had a much harder time wrapping his brain around this one.

OMG Literally Dead Plant: The most common millennial houseplant, it comes in all varieties that ultimately end the same way---dead AF.

Relatedly, I’m currently embroiled in a legal battle to divorce myself from my siblings to guarantee that I cannot be made an uncle against my will.